Firstly, I know that I can play sports. Moreover, I can play a lot of sports, especially soccer and basketball. These team sports make me cooperate with other friends and it helps me to develop team work. Also, I might have friends who I don't like. However, after playing sports I can make a lot of friendships with other. Sports also help my stress go away when I play sports. I feel joy and excitement. Playing sports make me sweat. it help bad things in our body go out. I can become healthier and stronger.
Secondly, movies make me relaxed. I enjoy watching movies when I have a bad time or when I am angry and stressed. Movies make me feel really relaxed. I can rest while watching. I can call it my free time. For example, I watched a movie about a team playing basketball. At the first season they were called losers because they l lost every game. However, after practicing hard they became the champions. My basketball team lost many games, but we won the championship by practicing hard. I felt sympathy. It also added more joy for me.
Lastly, books give me a lot of knowledge and facts. When I was a young child, I didn't know many things. My parents began to buy me books which made me laugh and cry. Books gave me a lot of feelings and a deep impression. Moreover, books gave me a lot of knowledge and facts. That's why I can study well these days. For example, I knew that the great god made us. However, I got to read a book about monkeys. From that book I learned a theory Darwin stated, which was that monkeys evolved into humans. This is called evolution, so I got to know three theories about how humans were made.
As a result, there are three things I know to be true which are I can play sports, movies make me feel relaxed and books give me a lot of facts and knowledge. These can also lead me to a brighter future.
Hi, I'm your writing TA Sintae.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that this is a very well written self-introduction. I like that you have a introduction and a conclusion and your paragraphs only contain one topic each, which is very good. To improve a little more I would add some more details in each paragraphs, like talking more about your favorite movie and book.
Overall, good job!
Hi Harold:) I really enjoyed your writing. I especially liked your intro. Seems like you tried to create an interesting hook! Keep trying:) I also want you to try to write a better conclusion. Try to write a conclusion that neatly and clearly summarizes and ends up the writing. Adding a line of your thought in the conclusion would also be great! Keep up the good work:)
ReplyDeleteHi Harold,
ReplyDeleteYou did an excellent job with this assignment. Your introduction was very good however, I agree with the TA's that your conclusion needs to be longer with more details.
The use of picturese also made the blog interesting to look at. Keep up the good writing!
Hi Yongbin,
ReplyDeleteHow is your GLPS's life? Do you really enjoy the camp?
I think you have done very well until now.
Your writing is getting better and better. However, you should keep your teacher's advice about your writing in mind. Then, you become a good writer.
Sincerely yours,
Dad
It was an interesting essay
ReplyDeletenice beginning
ReplyDelete